edward

i should be...

2007-01-08T20:25:14Z

Usually around this time of month, I am losing it big time. Work stress, compiled with post-holiday stress, a dash of girl trouble, and bam, a predicted break down. I think this year is going to be different though, for one, im not that worried about work. Every year it gets super crazy, and every year it works itself out. Shit happens, and just like it started, it’s already over. Christmas went very well for me, though I still am not a big fan of the holiday, I did however learn a lot from it. This Christmas was one spent with family, not just the ones that im related to, but the ones that are part of my life, through it all. It was great, though I doubt I will get a tree again. Not for a long time at least. As for girl troubles, I have NONE right now. The amount of drama in my life went from too much, to none at all, in regards to relationships. My friends are filling in, as they normally do, keeping me from doing something stupid. I took their advice as to how to deal with my issues with Sara, and so far it has worked very well for me.

As for the New Year. Well I have some resolutions, which I am happy to try out and hopefully stick with. So far it sounds like our group is in for some amazing adventures! Movie night, has just been upgraded, thanks in part to my Christmas/birthday present to myself. NEW TV, everyone is excited. Last night we all feasted on some of the most amazing food we have made. BIG BIG dinner, with all the works, plus the Indian Jones trilogy, plus some card games, and cigars... now that i think about it this whole weekend was amazing.

Friday, we all drove down to west Hollywood to see Annie Hall in this old fashion theater ($6 tickets, $1candy)..wow! Then over to the gypsy for some tomato soup, and people watching. Then back to my place.

Saturday, sleeping in, only to be interrupted mid nightmare by Billy seeing if I wanted to get some sushi. Lunch was amazing, and all you could eat. Good times! Then over to my parents, where they convinced me that I should get a new TV. So back home i went, Billy came over, and off to Circuit City. 45mins later, back home setting up my new 42" LG LCD. Then everyone came over to watch movies etc, south park well into the early morning.

Sunday, sleeping in, once again. Watch tv, read a bit, then the parents came over to check out the tv. Molley came with, and got to play with Darth, it was fun. Then plans for what turned out to be one of the biggest, tastiest, meals we (Billy and I) have ever cooked.

Wow, this post is all over the place. I better stop now. Till next time.

let it snow

2006-12-31T18:43:55Z

I just got back from one of the most amazing weeks ive ever had.

went to mammoth
snowed 3 feet
sunny, bright blue skys the rest of the week
tons of drinking/games with the friends
gooood food
no one hurt that bad

like i said amazing.

just what i needed to end 2006.

amazing

2006-12-24T11:57:40Z

everything is in the open, and i couldnt ask for a better response. i love my friends. no wonder we work so well together. pause...restart. and back to where i left off....

mmmmm goood.

dream

2006-12-19T18:01:41Z

well i finally was able to get some sleep. last week i slept about 14 hours total..for the whole week.
last night though, i got 7 simi-solid hours. darth woke me up twice... grrrr
though it was nice to sleep, my dreams could have been better.
i had a dream about someone last night that i haven't thought about in a while. it kinda freaked me out. ive been thinking about it all morning.
it makes me think of what could have happened, and what i would do if the situation presented itself today. though its somewhat sad to think about, its nice to reflect on the good times. they are so vivid for some reason. its weird how my memory works with this, recent things...not so much, but things in the past...fun times i remember so well.

:)

kickthecrowd @ 2006-12-15T00:55:00

2006-12-15T07:55:31Z

Well it is nice to see that im not that crazy. It is interesting what you learn when looking at something from another persons perspective. It is even better when they are a good friend, and their perspective comes to the same conclusion as yours. I think im going to sleep tonight, for the first time in 3days.

True Family...

kickthecrowd @ 2006-12-13T02:20:00

2006-12-13T09:20:26Z

Another night i lay awake,
my emotions set free, dance around the room.
all except one.
it sits with me, in sorrow and self pity.
we compete as too who can hang their head lower.
it laughs knowing it’s been defeated. I laugh knowing how sad that is,
was that a laugh or insanity trying to break free?
laughing at my emotions, what has become of me?
i look back to when I was looking ahead, “would have never predicted this”, I think to myself.
my heart is pounding, it turns to me and whispers.
the pounding deadens
i fall to the ground. It jabs at my side.
“I feel sick”, I say.
It whispers to me again.
“you did this to yourself”.

Our youth is fleeting

2006-12-07T20:22:50Z

My brain's repeating
"if you've got an impulse let it out"
But they never make it past my mouth.

i need to speak up more about important things.
go with my instincts.
listen to myself more.
stop worrying about making everyone else happy.

good luck ed.

Update

2006-11-16T18:34:40Z

I do this every once in a while so that when i look back, 2-3 years from now... well I laugh at my self. :)

Today Did You--

1. Talk to a boy/girl you like?
Yes
2. Realize anything new?
Yea, life is all about learning/realizing new things.
3. Talk to an ex?
Not yet. I should probably take this survey at night, instead of in the morning...at work..hehe
4. Miss someone?
Yea, there are a couple of people I miss actually

LAST PERSON WHO--
5. Slept in your bed?
Darth. Im sure he is in it right now, little bastard. what? he is not a person you say?. He is more of a person that you! go suck a fuck. ass.
6. Saw/heard you cry?
I would have to say Nikol. I don't really remember the reason, I'm sure it had something to do with us fighting. I'm glad its been that long, though some days (a couple this week actually) I really felt like I needed to.
7. You went to the movies with?
Kate, Billy, Pete, Rick, Chris, Ryan, Myself, Brit, Kelsey, Brad, Mandy (seating order from left to right)
8. You went to the mall with?
No idea
9. You said "I love you" to and meant it?
My Dad/Step Mom

LAST PERSON THAT- -
10. Who made you laugh?
My life is full of funny people. Rick or Billy when we went to walmart at 12am. Last really good laugh, where I couldn't stop, was with Brit we she does her speech impediment. haha so funny. (i don't think she realized that I'm really laughing at the correlation between her true impediment, and her "joking" one.)
11. Said they loved you?
Dad/Step-Mom
12. Called you in the middle of the night?
New York, drunk.

JUST PLAIN QUESTIONS--
14. What book are you reading now?
Re-reading the Art of War.
15. Best feeling in the world?
When you are around all your greatest friends hanging out, joking, just having an amazing time, and then life just seems to slow down. You think, wow, this is a time/event I'm going to remember for the rest of my life..I can't wait to look back on it, and see everyone so happy. It's a great feeling. I can't say it's the best, because every time they get better.
16. Favorite location?
There are so many, Mondos, Frenchman's Flat, Red Rock, Twin Lakes....
17. piercing/tattoos?
1..woah i can say that now!
18. What are you most scared of right now?
What I'm getting myself into, I'm worried that it's going to hurt...both of us.
19. Where do you want to get married?
somewhere nice
20. Who do you really hate?
Uh, no one as of right now.
21. Does anyone really hate you?
Don't know, and don't care.
22. Do you like being around people?
I love it, and I am almost all the time. Rick/Billy...go away. haha
23. Have you ever cried?
Dumb question
24. Are you lonely right now?
No.
25. Song stuck in your head right now?
Jack Johnson - Banana Pancakes
26. Been on radio/TV?
Not that I know of. Oh wait I'm in the background of the movie twins, when he flips the car on it's side, and drive in the grocery store parking lot. I was 4, in the window of my aunt's hair salon.
27. Ever liked someone, but you think they never noticed you?
Yeah. Then it all went to shit, and when I think about it, it makes me upset. Still..
28. Ever liked someone who treated you like crap?
Yea, I call them my ex's
29. How many beds did you lay in yesterday?
two (my couch is actually a futon, and was my old bed. it should count)
30. What color shirt are you wearing?
Brown.
31. Name three things that you do every day?
wake up, shower, get on the computer
32. How much cash do you have right now?
40, I had 60 but i spent it on a remote control airplane..haha
35. Who got you to join myspace?
wtf this is a myspace survey, dammit. no one got me to join myspace.
36. What did you have for dinner last night?
a couple of chips, and 2 chicken soft tacos, Billy to the rescue.
39. What web site do you visit the most?
google.com/ig, digg, yayhooray, myspace, edwardrock.com
40. Do you have plants in your room?
No
41. Do you have candles in your room?
No
42. Where was your last cab ride?
Vegas
43. What's your favorite starbucks drink?
Iced Vanilla Latte
44. Would you have a problem if your friend went after your ex?
Yeah and no

list

2006-10-20T23:05:21Z

The Science of Sleep
Miami Vice
Little Miss Sunshine
The Illusionist
Pan’s Labyrinth
Flyboys
Open Season

giving

2006-08-25T17:15:08Z

so for some reason i have felt in the most giving mood lately. more than normal i guess.
1. very very very nice bouquet of sun flowers for a friend. Floristry is where the money is at, geez..i had no idea flowers were so expensive
2. $40 to an amazing cause (this guy Ray is doing a 26 mile AIDS run in hawaii). the cool part about this was we also got to see some really funny comedians whe helped promote the cause.
3. $40 to To Write Love on Her Arms

i guess its not that much money...but (im not sure why) i would rather give this away than buy things for myself. (dont believe me, look in my fridge)

is this some sort of karma catching up with me, am i trying to make up for something? i dont know...

running on 100% emotions lately. its been scary. but it has helped me get my heart back, only to put it right back out in the open.

im getting madder every day

why

2006-08-15T17:13:37Z

why did this happen?
what did i do?
what didnt i do?

update?? naaaaaaaa

2006-08-02T23:10:09Z

I should update this, instead here is Jack Johnson explaining it best

"With everything ahead of us
We left everything behind
But nothing that we needed
At least not at this time
And now the feeling that I'm feeling
Well it's feeling like my life is finally mine
With nothing to go back to we just continue to drive
Without you I was broken
But I'd rather be broke down with you by my side
I didn't know what I was looking for
So I didn't know what I'd find
I didn't know what I was missing
I guess you've been just a little too kind
And if I find just what I need
I'll put a little peace in my mind
Maybe you've been looking too
Or maybe you don't even need to try
Without you I was broken
But I'd rather be broke down with you by my side
With everything in the past
Fading faster and faster until it was gone
Found out I was losing so much more than I knew all along
Because everything I've been working for
Was only worth nickels and dimes
But if I had a minute for every hour that I've wasted
I'd be rich in time, I'd be doing fine
Without you I was broken
But I'd rather be broke down with you by my side"

Movies

2005-12-19T20:21:56Z

Work sucks so bad right now, I needed to get away for a bit..Here is a list of movies I want to see.
Me and You and Everyone We Know
Crash
Broken Flower
Oliver Twist
Murderball
Grizzly Man
Shopgirl
Sideways
The Ringer
Just Friends
Green Street Hooligans
Thumbsucker
The Squid and the Whale
Jesus is magic
Wolf Creek
Final Destination 3
Capote
The Family Stone

thats all for now, im sure there are more, but i should be getting back to work.